I Eat Hockey Pucks...For Real

As sad as it may seem...it is true...The Boston Bruins collapsed the past two nights leading me into a deep depression in which I have began to consume solid rubber hockey pucks...as shown here.

What is it about them that has caused them to lose so badly the past few nights? Is it Chara’s much to large paycheck for such a mediocre hockey player? Or the Fact our teams most prized possession Bergeron is still concussed? Or was it Timmy T’s “lower extremity injury” which for some reason the press has yet to release to us. Whatever it may be, they need to turn it around, and fast. With a great start to a season, they are slowly fading off the radar. The Bruins must win so the B’s fans that are all in hibernation after the deplorable seasons of the past ten years will come out of their caves and unite under the black and gold B again! You hear talk about how the Sox and Pats fans out number the bruins fan 100-1, but that’s only true because the Sox and Pats are winning teams. Nobody (except the hardcore fans) like to root for a losing team. As matter of fact, the past 3 Bruins games I’ve gone to, there were just as many opposing team fans as Bruins fans IN OUR GARDEN! Psh, this needs to change. Start winning, fans start growing, team makes money, money gets better players (sadly), and Boston will again be able to rally for their men in black and gold.